Aug 27, 2019 | Personal Development
These days I seem to hear, “I am so overwhelmed, I have too much on my to-do list,” more often than not. This post is for all my friends and clients who have ever felt overwhelmed.
I recently received a call from a friend who was driving back to New Hampshire from a two week hiking trip in the Adirondacks. She said, “Lisa, I feel so overwhelmed. I have so much to do when I get back home. There is so much on my to-do list.”
I asked her about her vacation and tried to get her to realize she was still on it. She still had quite a long drive home. I encouraged her to crank the radio, sing to the tunes to help not let her mind spin things out of control.
I said to her, “Be here now, girl. In the car, with your mind on the road and not on that to-do list.”
Have you ever felt like my friend?
The hear the word overwhelm or versions of it all the time. Whether I am with friends, family, or clients, overwhelm pops up in conversation. “I am so busy. I don’t have enough time. I’ll never get it all done. I am so overwhelmed.” It’s there.
Overwhelm causes an excess of anxiety, which leads to more overwhelm resulting in less often productivity. I have seen overwhelm cause anxiety that has wiped people out to a point where they can’t function.
I’ve had my battles with overwhelm too. Those excessive and heighten feelings of “there’s not enough time and how am I going to do it all” tend to cripple me to the point of exhaustion. That’s not productive. I imagine some of you can relate.
Every so often when I feel that tingle of overwhelm creeping up on me. I have to stop myself, regroup and notice the thoughts I am thinking. Similar to my friend driving home from vacation, I find my mind not where it needs to be…in the now. Instead, it’s usually somewhere in the future.
Overwhelm takes away. It doesn’t add any value to your life. Some of you may question this and make the point that the stress you put yourself through may help you get things done. Even though you may have a level of productivity, your end result is the feeling of overwhelm. That certainly isn’t a way to be kind to your body and it shows.
Here’s the key. The thoughts you are thinking are leading to the overwhelm. It is not your to-do lists or anything external. Overwhelm is created in your head.
The bottom line, overwhelm is not a necessary evil to get things done, or lead you down the path of success. Overwhelm prevents all that is most beautiful in you from showing. It zaps your creativity, increases your stress hormones that love to make you heavier, tire you physically, and could cause your to wear a scowl on your face.
“Lisa, my to-do list is a mile long”…We all have those lists. The goal is productivity with ease and grace. If you are running rapid with overwhelm, you’ll never see the beauty that lies inside of you.
Today, I rarely experience overwhelm. My brain has learned to make new connections that now alert me rather than make me a victim of this paralyzing anxiety…overwhelm.
Here are 5 tips that have helped me oppose overwhelm.
1. Shift Your Mindset. Once you recognize that it is your mind creating the overwhelm and not the lack of time or your long to-do list, your overwhelm naturally reduces. Embrace the idea… “There is no rush.”
2. Use Mindful Language. Many of us operate under the “have to, need to, and should do it all” mentality. Whereas the reality is that you don’t “have to” do anything. You absolutely have a choice as to what you do daily.
I like to have my clients flip their language to a less stress bearing word. Since everything in your life is a choice, you can choose gentler words such as “I get to” or “I have the opportunity to” do whatever it is on your list. That simple shift in language feels very different than…”Oh my gosh, I have to do this now.”
Experiment with using these simple language shifts and see how they work for you.
3. Prioritize. Do the most important things first. Yes, I live in the real world and realize some things take precedence over others.
This was one of the reminders to my friend who was coming back from her vacation. She made it clear to me she had some pressing things on her list. Don’t agonize over all things on the list.
Do what is essential first. There is no rush.
4. Be Here Now. When you are consumed with the “to-do” list, the what and how you are going to get it all done you are missing what is here in the present. Your projection into the future envisioning a catastrophe if things don’t get done is a waste of your precious energy.
For my friend, it was for her safety. She was tired from the long drive and I wanted her to be safe on the road. The most important thing for her was being present in the car at that moment and not projecting into the future about all the things on her list.
5. Self Care. This is so important and is often never makes “the list.” When you make a conscious effort to take care of yourself by getting the rest, exercise, and self love overwhelm is less likely to creep into your head space.
A form of self love can simply be noticing how you are feeling at a given moment, then noticing how your body feels when you experience overwhelm. Notice what triggers your body and take action to get back into balance.
Try these tips. I would love to hear if they work for you. If you need more support with managing your overwhelm, give me a call. I have more tips and tricks that’ll help you shine your brightest.
Let’s get you out of overwhelm…
I am passionate about coaching women 40+ who are seeking a change in their life. Women who are at crossroads, feel stuck or not sure about the next step. I help women get to the other side of whatever they are feeling and support them to be Healthier, Happier, Confident, and Radiant.
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Aug 19, 2019 | Personal Development
“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” – Stephen Richards
Many of you have reached out to ask me more about coaching, what it is, how it is different from therapy, and my personal philosophy. I would like to take a moment and share with you so you’ll have a greater understanding of what I do.
Coaching is not me telling you how to live your life, what to do and how to do it. As a coach, I act as a facilitator to help you get to a desired goal to improve the quality of your life.
Often people will come to me if they are challenged by a life circumstance. It could be a divorce, experiencing an empty nest, weight loss challenges, interpersonal relational issues, feel unfulfilled or have the desire to do the work to be a healthier, more vibrant person.
Sometimes life changes unexpectedly and the support of a coach can help you get into action and create a new path quicker than if you were to move through the catastrophic event by yourself.
My mentor Martha Beck describes coaches as “personal trainers for your soul”. They help you access and plot a course that is right for you.
I may ask you to dig deep to uncover the thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. We will explore how your thoughts impact how you feel and how feelings and emotions drive your actions in your life. You will find clarity and be able to move forward with action towards your desired outcome. You will learn to react less to circumstances in your life, gain freedom from places that are stuck, and learn to become the creator of your new life.
I often get the question, how is coaching different from therapy?
A therapist supports people who are not well become mentally healthy, whereas a life coach works with people who are mentally healthy to help them achieve their full potential and their best life. A life coach is present and future-focused to help you move forward to the desired outcome, rather than analyzing the hows and whys of your life.
Most life coaches specialize in a couple of areas of coaching. Often a coach will bring in relevant life experience as a specialization. I love working with women who want to live healthier, happier, with more ease and radiance. When I work with a woman we look at what is holding them back from getting to their desired outcome.
Many of you who have had these questions know I have experienced various challenges in my life. Through those unique challenges, I have come to the other side, more confident, and happier than ever. Now it is my time to give back to those who want to become a better version of themselves, or who need a listening ear to begin their journey. I provide a safe space for you to unfold and grow to a new, more radiant you.
I hope this explanation helps those of you who have asked me specifically to clarify.
When you decide to work with me, the sessions are confidential and are designed based on your needs. I meet you where you are. Together we create so you will be able to make decisions that will improve your confidence, health and happiness, and quality of your life.
I am able to coach you over the phone in the comfort of your own home or in person. I am able to work with women in the United States and worldwide.
I offer a free 20-minute discovery call with no obligation. My coaching packages are designed for you to maximize the work you do with me. I offer one-on-one coaching for three and six-month packages. These packages can be renewed for the woman to develop a long-term relationship.
It is my honor to serve you.
You can schedule your 20-minute discovery call at https://calendly.com/lisa-365
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Aug 13, 2019 | Personal Development
This week I discovered my website had a bug. This was after I thought all my website stuff was running smoothly. Recently, I noticed pictures missing and random bars popping up where they should not be. Clearly something was needing some attention.
Hmmm….And technology is not something I enjoy.
It was at that moment I had the choice to either scream and kick with frustration or choose the higher road of less reactivity.
I choose the latter. I sat down at that moment and felt all the emotions of having a less than perfect website. Then I just laughed. I trusted these glitches are little reminders of how I can practice living a better life, one of ease, grace, play, and femininity. I trusted I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment and that the higher powers that be have my back.
When the storm in my head was relieved by laughter, the calm was able to move in and I was able to take action towards a resolution.
I would like to introduce you to a quote by Jaggi Vasudev.” If you learn to ride the storm, the storm is not a problem anymore.”
When was the last time you felt you were in a storm? How did you react?
Do you stuff it down?
Do you react negatively?
Do you dwell on it?
Or maybe you go into isolation?
Or cried?
I want you to take a moment and think about how you handle these less than pretty moments.
As women, we have been taught that it is bad to be emotional. That we should be happy and cheerful all the time, be in control, hide those emotions that are perceived bad because they won’t serve us, and that sitting in the storm is counterproductive.
That emotional part of us as women is so essential to our being. As a culture of women we have learned to shut down our feelings and pretend things are fine.
Let me give you an example… Have you ever been to the grocery and run into someone you have not seen in a while? They ask you how you have been and you respond, “Oh, fine!” Often the reality at that moment is quite different. We have conditioned ourselves to not be true to ourselves.
On a deep level, we have been conditioned to not trust the feminine in us. That part of us that has been shut off and down has a deep desire to be expressed. This disconnect causes deep longing.
Are you able to recognize any deep desires or longings?
Often women find that beyond material things and external desires what they desire most is being truly authentic to themselves, living fully in the moment, and connected.
Let’s do a little recap.
Let’s think about how you answered the previous question about how you would react in a storm.
Now, if you were to do some personal upgrades that will lead you closer to the woman you want to be, what would those upgrades look like?
Make a list of 5 things you would do differently.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to comment below. Or if you are interested in exploring more contact me for a free no-obligation personal discovery call.
I work specifically with women 45 plus who are interested in being their best selves. Often women get caught up in trying to find their true selves in all the wrong places. I help women uncover those limiting beliefs and opening up a world of opportunity to become their most beautiful radiant selves.
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Jul 30, 2019 | Healthy Eating, Money Matters, Personal Development
This last week a single $168 million Mega Millions jackpot was sold in my hometown of Exeter.
The town has been buzzing with wonder as to who the winner is. As of yet, the winner has been unidentified.
Some residents have even suggested ideas on how some of the money should be spent.
First, the New Hampshire State lottery executive director, suggests consulting with an attorney and getting a financial planner who’s familiar with dealing with large sums of money is a good idea.
That seems like good advice.
In the past, some lottery winners have gone bankrupt with years of winning massive amounts of money. Why and how, you may ask? Managing money is something that has to be learned. These winners have never learned how to manage their money like a person who is wealthy who has a wealth minded mindset.
You may ask, “what does this have to do with ice cream?”
The choices you make impact your life.
They can either lead to a healthy relationship or an unhealthy relationship with food, money, and even friends.
Whether you choose to eat a little ice cream or splurge on the kitchen sink, spend megabucks money-wise, or burn through it wildly the choice is up to you.
So when summer comes around here in New Hampshire, sometimes ice cream calls me. Today was one of those days, I found my way to Just The Wright Place For Ice Cream…
I am being totally authentic here by revealing a periodic weakness of mine. We all have them. Yours could be drinking or eating sweets or overeating. These are all desires that often we feel like we can’t control.
I have heard clients say to me, “ I can’t have just a little. I have to eat the whole bag. ”, “The food is calling me to eat every last crumb.” , or “I can’t control myself.” These struggles are all so common and are an opportunity to look deeper at the root cause rather than just changing the behavior.
If you are not willing to look at the cause of the behavior that will always go back to thoughts you are having in your mind, the desired change in behavior will be difficult to break.
I finished my coffee ice cream with a glob of hot fudge sauce on top. That was a total treat for me. There was a moment of feeling satisfied. I knew I was done.
Instead of beating myself up, and scolding myself for the sundae, I said, “Lisa, what is it that you are really wanting here?” “What do you really need?” I gave myself a little coaching.
Is there something in your life that you have a deep desire for? Do you feel like it has control over you? Maybe it is eating, snacking, indulging in too much chocolate, spending too much time on social medial, or is it excessive spending?
When you begin to take a look at the thoughts behind your desires, you will notice your desire for that thing you are wanting grows less.
Don’t get me wrong. Desiring things can be wonderful when they are healthy for your life and life-giving. It is when you see yourself in a not-so-good pattern of desiring unhealthy things. That’s the problem.
Give yourself a break when you see yourself desiring that unhealthy and ask yourself, “What is it that I need right now?”
I will give you a hint. It will be always be something in your head, never anything physical.
As I drove back from the ice cream shop, I saw a signpost congratulating the Megabucks winner. I hope our local winner has the power to take a moment to think about his desires and dreams.
The last thing I would want is for him or she is to eat that big ice cream sundae and feel disgusted in the end.
My wish would be the winner would get the financial counsel to develop a healthy long-term financial plan. Money flows like water.
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I would love to hear from you. What is something you desire that leans toward the unhealthy?
Jul 16, 2019 | Creating a Vision, Growth Mindset, Making life look easy, Personal Development
When I work with women, one of the things we do is create a vision. Sometimes when I start working with a woman I get, “ Lisa, I have no idea what I want, how can I create a vision? Where do I begin?
If you are feeling similar, no worries my friend. You see, our brains are geared to protect us, to tell us what is dangerous and what’s not.
When you introduce something new, your brain is triggered to try to keep you in the comfortable.
We all have this “Fight or Flight” inside us. The problem is that your brain doesn’t know whether you are being chased by a tiger or being challenged to try something new.
It is easy for all of us to get stuck in the comfortable. Notice when this happens, and see these moments as opportunities to grow.
Let’s get clear on what a vision is. A vision is a picture you create in your mind of something you desire in the future.
Dreams and visions are there to help you grow so you can become your best self. Often we ignore these dreams and visions when our brain discourages us for the wrong reasons.
Your brain might tell you, “I can’t do that,” “It’s too hard,” “That dream is too big for someone like you.”
My friend, these are just thoughts that are keeping you in that safe comfort zone. Ahh, that’s what the brain is supposed to do.
Unless you learn to recognize those thoughts that keep so many of us from bringing those dreams to fruition.
So when your brain tries to trick you and it tells you, “You can’t do that.” Or, “you’re not smart enough.” Remember, those are just thoughts your brain is telling you.
You have the power to choose to ignore those little tricky lies your brain tells you and move forward closer to your wants, desires and vision.
So, if you’re wondering what you want and how to create a vision. Take a moment to see what surfaces…
If you are finding this difficult, take time to focus on what you don’t want.
I have noticed it is often easier for women to focus on what they don’t want. “I don’t want to be out of shape.” I don’t want to by myself.” I don’t want to feel like there is never enough money.“
The key is, flipping those negative thoughts and that stuck mind chatter to positive thoughts and things that you want.
My friends, this is important because…”What you focus on grows.”
Instead of being out of shape, what do you want instead? You might want to be fit so you can move easier or so you can slide into your favorite jeans.
Being by yourself? Maybe you want to find a soulmate or have a fun group of friends where you can play.
Feeling like there is never enough money? Develop a mindset where there is an abundance of money.
Desires like these are perfect mini visions and great starting points where you can create and bring forth to enhance your life.
I hope you can allow yourself to dream, create a vision for yourself, and start moving forward in the direction where you can have a more full life.
Email me at lisa@lisajollimois.com. I would love to hear more about your vision, desires, and dreams.
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Big Hugs,
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