Jan 31, 2021 | Personal Development
The one thing that Covid has done was give me some good time to think about my life. How about you?
For me, this last year has been one of transition and turbulence. My youngest child Patrick was a 2020 high school graduate, and despite the challenges with his Down Syndrome he’s made it apparent he’s his own man with dreams and aspirations. A big part of this last year was spent transitioning him into adulthood and on his path. The work we were doing together caused me to take a deeper look at my own path and direction.
Many of you may have noticed a slight shift in my niche. Whereas now, I’ve extended my services to women post domestic relations. I love seeing women shine and rediscover who they are and most are at midlife.
Midlife, those years between 40 and 65. Generally speaking it’s a time of transition and for some women it can be quite tumultuous. It can be a stressful time as we deal with aging parents, hormonal changes, health issues, family transitions, and looking at our financial health.
Some people may refer to this as a midlife crisis, but I like to think about this time as a midlife opportunity and that’s what I framed this time to be for me.
How about yourself?
What have you had to do differently? How has it impacted your life? What have you learned about yourself? What opportunities were presented to you?
There’s no question Covid times have impacted people differently. I hope you and your extended families are all well.
With all this said, last spring I started thinking about how I could help women get through challenging times whether it’s midlife or Covid more gracefully. Over the last 5 months or so I’ve been working on a summit specifically for midlife women.
And now, I’m so excited to announce it’s coming your way this February. I hope you can join us all at the Make Midlife Magical Summit February 22-26.
I have a team of 14 experts who will be presenting on various subjects relating to midlife. It is going to be so incredible. Right now, the presentations are coming in and they are filled with valuable information for women in midlife.
I’ll give you a glimpse of some of the topics:
How to navigate your midlife
Sexual concerns and satisfaction in midlife
Best exercise
Midlife fashion reboot
How to deal with stress and anxiety
Midlife sleep problems
This sounds like a ton of fun, huh? Well, I can’t wait to offer this to women. I’ll tell you, you’re one of the first to know about this exciting event.
It gets better. It’s all FREE!
All of the presenters were excited to offer their expertise during these challenging times.
No worries, if you can’t make the presentations, they’ll be accessible for free for the first 24 hours after the presentation.
How do you sign up?
Right now, I am reserving VIP places, those who are the first to know about this special event.
You can go to the website below for more details and get your ticket. The waitlist changes over to regular registration February 5th. At that time the link will change.
https://lisajollimois.com/waitlist/
Join us in the fun!
In the meantime, here’s a few 5 tips that’ll help you make peace with your midlife.
- Acknowledge your feelings about your midlife. You can’t overcome what you don’t acknowledge.
- Self assess. What is eating at your core? How can you resolve some of those think?
- Look at midlife as an opportunity. Look at this time of life as a new beginning. It is not indulgence, it’s taking care of you.
- Take care of your health.
- Stay connected with other women who are in midlife. Together we’re better.
I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women. I help middle-age women who have been torn down by spousal abuse learn how to make life moving forward the best years ever. If you need help rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.
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Dec 31, 2020 | Personal Development
“What You Resist Persists”.- C.G Jung
2020 is about to close. We are all ready to say good bye and in new hope for the coming year.
As I reflect back on the 2020, the one thing that comes to mind is how we all have had an escalation of emotion. For sure, this is one year we’ll never forget.
For me, this year was especially heightened with emotion. My youngest child who has Down Syndrome graduated from high school. With that milestone, new opportunities presented themselves, and despite the emotion we were experiencing collectively we made it to the end of 2020. Today Pat and I sat down for some lunch and talked about all the things we were grateful for in 2020 and paused for those who experienced hardship and loss during the year.
Collectively, we all lacked a sense of ease and calm. Our emotions were heighten, our lifestyles changed and as 2021 moves in there is still so much uncertainty.
With that said, I would like to give you some tips for you to nurture yourself as the new year rolls in.
So many of us struggle because we don’t acknowledge our feelings. This is clearly a skill we all need to learn so we can take better care of our selves and be emotionally happier and healthier.
I want you all to know that ease and calm are Super Powers we all have and we can access them. When you are in a state of ease and calm you can handle whatever is presented to you much better.
There are 5 essential steps to accessing this Super Power when you are feeling out of calm zone.
- Being able to label how you are feeling.
- Now that the feeling is identified, you must own that feeling.
- Own the experience by saying, I’m choosing to experience______________.
- Welcome the feeling.
- How does it feel in your physical body?
Sitting quietly with the feeling will help you move through it quicker than if you were to resist the emotion.
Happy New Year Everyone! Remember good things are coming…
I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women. I help middle-age women who have been torn down by spousal abuse learn how to make life moving forward the best years ever. If you need help rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.
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Nov 27, 2020 | Personal Development
Most of us allow the circumstances of our life to control us and shape our world, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We’ve been conditioned to pay attention and give more attention to the things in our lives that cause us pain and suffering. We allow for those circumstances to occupy too much space in our brain.
I recently heard my mentor Martha Beck speak about this. Once you start to watch your own brain you see where you put up “statues”, huge monuments of suffering. We put up statues of people who have “burned us to the ground”, uprooted us from our happy homes, took our money, tried to strip everything that was good from us. We’ve been conditioned to pay a huge amount of attention to those who have been violent, and who have abused us emotionally.
We put up monuments of people who killed the most people. We’ve been trained as a culture to look at the people who cause destruction. Our news stories highlight negative happenings that infiltrate and mold our brain and we so often allow for too much of that precious space to be occupied.
But really, “It’s about the power of love instead of the power of power,” according to Elizabeth Lesser, author of Cassandra Speaks.
In the 1990’s psychologists suggested looking at what makes people happy instead of focusing on mental illness or negative. Prior to this time, this shift had never been done. We are a culture that looks at the destructive and negative. We must put enough attention to the goodness in your life as much as the badness.
The evidence is very strong that taking a look at what makes people happy and that having a different focus makes people happier and healthier.
1. The one single thing you can do to shift out of negative mode is pay more attention to goodness in life.
2. The one thing that was discovered that is the most happiness enhancing activity, and the most powerful single thing you can do to increase your own happiness over the next year. Take a moment to look at life enhancing people in our culture. Look at life enhancing people in our past, people who have given you positive things. It could be a small thing, but tell them how it impacted your life and perhaps changed your life. These people can be a grandparent, a teacher, a friend etc.
3. Write them a letter and tell them what they did to change your life. Send them the letter, or better yet, read it to them. (This year you may have to do FaceTime or Zoom.) This is your Gratitude letter.
4. Keep your attention on these people, their goodness, and remember what you are grateful for.
Studies have shown that people who wrote this type of emotion letter had much more happiness in their life over the next year than people who wrote just random letters.
Focusing on that special person, gets you thinking about the good they did you and writing it down allows the focus to use and occupy a different part of the brain. When you actually contact the person you tap into the social part of the brain and that impacts so much of who you are as a person. The actual reading of the letter magnifies the relationship and the joy you have both experienced. It’s definitely a force that is sustaining and has the capability of shifting the brain into joy and happiness.
Yesterday was our Thanksgiving here in the US. Many of us had the opportunity to sit down and reflect on what and who we are thankful for.
Today, I would like to challenge you to remember those thoughts of Thanksgiving or if you are not here in the US think and remember those things you are thankful for now.
Take the attention off of those who have tried to “burn you to the ground”. Hey, I hear you and I know those things need to be acknowledged and said, but today I’d like you to shift and focus on the good and those who have been good.
Write that gratitude letter. It’s the perfect time of year to give this gift not only to yourself, but to others.
I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women. I help middle-age women who have been torn down by spousal abuse learn how to make life moving forward the best years ever. If you need help rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.
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Oct 29, 2020 | Personal Development
Hey friends!
Next week is election week here in the US. For those of you who live in the US, you get to cast your vote for a leader.
But, did you ever think about casting a vote for yourself?
Everyday you have the choice to check off the little box for yourself…
And, when you do…I guarantee amazing things can happen…
Because,
- You choose who you want to be
- How your going to show up for yourself
- And, how you react and respond to everything around you
You are more in control of your state of being, your life than you may think.
Whether you realize it or not, you are deciding everyday the direction of your life and how life treats you.
So, cast the vote for yourself and put yourself on the list as a high priority person.
And, don’t forget to check off the little box on that ballad everyday, for YOU!
Because,
- You can be in control of your life
- You can feel calm in the midst of chaos
- You can create a life that is TRUE to you, that will be amazing and unlike no other.
- Once you see you’re an amazing creator, amazing things will happen.
I’ll give you a personal example. We’ve created a new motto at our house. “When you show up for yourself, AMAAAZING things happen.”
This stemmed from my son Patrick who has Down syndrome seeing a positive result after showing up for himself when things were tough. There’s no double, things are very challenging for him and trying new things can be a huge hurdle. But, he has seen how showing up and challenging himself even when it’s hard that amazing things can happen in life.
I want to remind you that those amazing things can be little things. For my son, it’s showing up everyday for his online course even when it’s hard. For him, showing up has opened more doors and presented opportunities. It’s the constant checking off the box for yourself that overtime brings big results.
Take a moment to think about yourself.
How have you been hiding? What are some of the things you could do to show up more for yourself? What would your life be like if you started showing up?
You’re more in control of your life than you think.
What are some action steps that you can do to get closer to your goal?
Remember it’s time for you to cast your vote.
I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women who want to transform their lives. If you need more support getting through a current crisis, contact me. Or if you need support getting out of your own way, naturally maintaining your weight, rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.
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Aug 15, 2020 | Personal Development
“The function of ritual, is to give form to human life, not in the way of a mere surface arrangement, but in depth.” – Joseph Campbell
A few years ago I saw how important rituals were in life and that rituals were essential to life balance – a key to a happy and successful life. A huge part of achieving this balance was to instill rituals and routine into my everyday life.
Like probably many of you, I strive to have that balance – a balanced diet, have time to myself, reflect, exercise, yoga or stretching, journaling, goal setting, time with children, all of those things the self help books tell us are good for us. Are you with me?
But, no way is it essential to have a pre prescribed formula of “to-do’s” to have that more balanced life. We all have the resources, an inner knowing that can create a life of more relevance, balance, and ritual.
I noticed during the pandemic, the things that were most essential stayed a part of my day, and others dropped out, beautiful new things came in, and changed as my whole rhythm of my day.
My day had more authentic ritualistic patterns that were filled with more joy, predictability, communion, reverence, and beauty in my life.
I don’t want to underestimate the loss and hardships many have had to endure during this time.
For sure Covid-19 has shifted a lot of things dramatically for many of us.
I want you to take a moment and think of some of the good things that have emerged since March.
The one thing I have added into my day that has become a daily ritual is swimming with a friend each morning in a private, sacred spot in nature. We’ll swim or you might call it water bathing for about an hour or so. It is refreshing, exhilarating, and great exercise. I look forward to this new ritual everyday. I absolutely love it.
It is the simple things that can be the most meaningful and eloquent... I dusted off my mother’s cast iron table and chair set and plopped it down among my flower garden. It’s been our favorite place to have dinner, enjoy a cool drink, or chat with a friend.
Although each of my days are slightly different, we definitely have a regular rhythm to our days. My son Patrick, who has Down Syndrome will be the first to keep us in the flow of those rhythms. By 3:00 pm the frozen chocolate protein shakes are made and ready to be served. It is time to relax and enjoy.
Our daily rhythm has changed as has my awareness of how important and significant ritual is for all of us. And, how it is every bit as essential and compelling as our need for food, shelter, and love. Ritual feels good. It’s instinctual. The practice provides a sense of comfort especially when times are uncertain.
Do you have rituals in your life?
Have you noticed or added rituals since the pandemic?
How are these rituals benefiting your life?
Maybe your ritual is having a cup tea and calling a friend each afternoon, or taking a walk on the beach each evening. The ritual is a time of rest and adds structure and predictability in life. When things are predictable and rhythmic, we truly relax. We all need that.
Cultures throughout the world have various practices of rituals and ceremonies to enhance creativity, joy, connection and spirituality. It is not surprising that throughout the world cultures acknowledge these practices as foundational.
Years ago I studied the works of German Philosopher, Rudolph Steiner, and his education model for young children. In a nutshell, much of his educational philosophy for young children was based on the unfolding of the child’s day, the predictability, and the need for celebration and ritual for creativity and healthy social development.
Rhonda Curtis wrote, “ritual expands our horizons to aspects of life beyond daily requirements.”” Rituals give the events we experience in our lives meaning, and our lives themselves a sense of purpose. Because a ritual requires preparation and thoughtfulness, they help us shift from “to-do” mode to “into doing”.
Take a moment to think about your day.
How do the things you do serve you?
Do you have rituals?
What things in your day are predictable?
What parts of your day are fun and bring you joy?
What part of your day is a struggle?
If you are struggling to find a ritual in your life, start by making something that brings you joy a ritual. A ritual doesn’t have to be a rigid ceremony to have value. Make whatever you choose a practice and before you know it, it’ll be a part of what you feel like you need to do. It takes only a few days to start this practice.
Ask a friend to partake in this practice with you. Rituals are not necessarily solitary. Share in this practice with another.
I would love to hear about your rituals. You can always email me at lisa@lisajollimois.com or comment below.
I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women who want to transform their lives. If you need more support getting through this current crisis, contact me. Or if you need support naturally maintaining your weight, rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.
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Big Hugs,
Jun 30, 2020 | Personal Development, Special Needs
There’s no question we are living in changing times. So many of you have reached out with concerns, added anxiety, and worry. There’s no question in my mind that I have been challenged by all the uncertainty in the world. Overall, I live with a low-grade level of anxiety, but in the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen more anxiety and worry despite the fact I generally feel calm.
So many of us battle with anxiety often from various levels of worry and easily fall into the habit of worry without even knowing. It is easy to slip into the state of worry even when times aren’t so turbulent and when the world isn’t experiencing heightened anxiety and worry collectively. For sure, 2020 is certainly a year that has rocked our world and will produce dramatic changes that will shape our future in ways we have never expected.
Recently I had to make some changes in my life to rebalance and center myself so I wouldn’t feel immobilized by all thoughts in my brain that were sabotaging my calm. I recognized that world energy for the most part is one of anxiety, stress, and discord. It’s so easy to become a part of that collective energy when it’s everyplace you go and effects everything you do.
Here are some of the things I have done to help get myself back on track and little things that you can do to shield yourself from the excess that trickles into your life that isn’t serving you.
- I limit my news intake. I was finding I was getting caught up into too much bad news coverage. I would even get sucked up into the news highlights on my cell phone. After reading the coverage, I would feel nothing but disturbed and mad at myself for wasting my time and energy.
- I had to reclaim my regular routine (for some reason I was thrown off.) Some of the most essential components to my day are my morning stretch and exercise, and my morning journal reflection.
- I made a worry list. I made a column that is headed My List and a column God’s List. I place each worry in the appropriate column. All of Lisa’s List are things that I can control and take action on. Anything else that I don’t have control over goes in a column headed God’s List. This gives me a better perspective on what is really essential and what is out of my control. Each time I do this I find most of what I worry about is out of my control and I can’t do anything about it. I give it up to God and trust he’s got my back. There is so much we really do not have control over in this world.
- I have been making a conscious effort to get outside in nature and be with nature. I’ve been rearranging my flower gardens.
- I have limited my social media. I find that it is so easy to get pulled into everyone else’s business. I need to preserve myself, my self-care and focus on what is best for me right now.
Those are a few things that I do to reset, calm, and get the crazies out of my brain. But the most essential component is our family mantra, ‘Be here, NOW.” I think that says it all. If you can be wherever you are in that place complete and fully, in the present, your worries will vanish. It is the thoughts in your mind that are creating worry and anxiety. If you did not have any beliefs and lived in the present of time everything would be okay. There would be no worry. I know, that may seem strange to think about, right? I love these activities that challenge me in this way. It is hard to just “Be here NOW,” especially in these times. But, imagine if we practice these concepts now, just think how much better off we’ll be past all of these challenges we face here in 2020.
“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” Roy T. Bennett
Today I have a special guest and good friend, Michele Clock who emanates Bennett’s simple, but powerful wisdom. Michele is a part of my Woman to Woman series. I am featuring Michele this week because I am committed to representing all types of women, their journeys, talents, and passions.
I met Michele years ago at a special needs conference where she was speaking. We both have children with special needs so she is a part of my local community and network. I chose to feature Michele for my series because she has a vibrant outlook, a zest for life, and I have never heard her express a worry. The unique thing about Michele is she is visually impaired.
Lisa: Michele, tell us about you.
Michele: I was born with poor visual acuity, corrective lenses were always an option for me until a series of medical events over the past 15-20 years caused me to tolerate vision correction less and less. Over the years, I earned my M.S. at UNH in Communication and Sciences Disorders and have worked in both public and private schools as an ASHA certified Speech and Language Pathologist. I am most proud of being the mother to my beautiful, compassionate, 15-year-old daughter, who was born prematurely, resulting in a host of medical conditions, including Cerebral Palsy. There was a time that I had to transition from what I perceived as a comfortable and successful world to a world where my visual acuity was plagued by double vision and visual perceptual/processing challenges; to a world with a contracted visual field and eyes seeing 20/700 at best. That has been scary.
Lisa: How did you gracefully accept the challenge of the changes in your vision?
Michele: Don’t we all have challenges? I have come to realize that, it is how we choose to face these challenges, accept the hand that we are dealt, and live that makes the difference. For many years, I lived in fear, allowing myself to be a victim of perceived limitations and feeling a lack of support, not anymore.
Lisa: What is the one thing that helped you transition successfully?
Michele: It was my daughter’s developmental ophthalmologist, taking me on as a patient 12 years ago, and after multiple attempts at vision therapy, including prisms and exercises, she recommended I reach out to Hadley for the Blind and Visually Impaired.
Lisa: How did Hadley change your life?
Michele: It was a true gift. It was a journey of understanding and gratitude for me. I have always been a learner, but the opportunities I had at Hadley School for the Blind and Visually Impaired opened more doors for where I was right now. The courses and workshops have helped me to be independent again. I no longer live in fear. The classes I have taken have allowed me to find myself again and to better parent my daughter, which means the world to me. I am better able to advocate for myself and for my daughter. I have a tremendous community of friends and supports that I did not have prior to my acquaintance with Hadley. A supportive community is worth a lot. There is truly a gift in every situation in life you just have to look for it.
Lisa: What is the one lesson you have learned through this personal journey?
Michele: Controlling what I can and letting go of what I cannot control.
Lisa: If you could share one thing with women in my community what would it be?
Michele: Off the top of my head, there are a few, effective communication is essential, leaning on facts eases the worrying, and choose gratitude.
Lisa: Do you feel judged by other people?
Michele: I use a white cane for mobility and safety. I cannot control what others think, I am in control of me. If someone asks me questions then I am happy to share about my journey, but I choose to move forward for myself and my own health and well being. I do not see myself as disabled, I just find a way that works for me like any other person navigating life.
Lisa: Can you give us a glimpse of how you have to have adapted your life to give us more understanding?
Michele: Try to imagine this….to overcome your fear… play a game of beep baseball, cook a meal blindfolded, ski down a mountain eyes closed using only a headset with auditory connections.
Lisa: Wow! That gives perspective.
Lisa: What are you really good at?
Michele: Being positive, finding a way to make things work, not being limited by society, or a diagnosis. A diagnosis is just information or an explanation, not an excuse for either me or society. I have a mindset of no boundaries or limitations, to continue to learn and grow.
Lisa: I love that. As your friend, I see those things in you and that is why I wanted to interview you and share your story with my community.
Lisa: Who inspires you most these days?
Michele: I love Hadley Podcasts, Northeast Passage, Maine Adaptive sports, Aphasia Center of Maine, Love Your Brain Yoga, Faces of TBI, a brain injury podcast I follow.
Lisa: Tell us something about yourself that might surprise people.
Michele: I am a watercolor artist, Speech/Language Pathologist, Yoga Instructor, and a Parent Advocate-Parent Information Center, NH
Thank you so much, Michele, for your time and energy. You are definitely an inspiration and a talented woman who has gone from worry to being a powerful creator.
I hope this series has been useful and inspiring for you all.
I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women who want to transform their lives. If you need more support getting through this current crisis, contact me. Or if you need support naturally maintaining your weight, rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.
If this interests you or if you want to level-up your standard of life despite our current circumstances email me for your FREE discovery call at lisa@lisajollimois.com or sign up at https://calendly.com/lisa-365
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