The Velvet Glove Rather Than The Iron Fist #13

The Velvet Glove Rather Than The Iron Fist #13

Nov 11, 2019 | Growth Mindset, Personal Development

“The voice of beauty speaks softly; it creeps only into the most fully awakened souls.” – Nietzsche

It’s November, the time where I start thinking about where I have been, what I have accomplished over the last year, and where I am heading into the new year. 

I am super excited because I have a lot of amazing things planned for the new year. The next year will be one of transition mainly because my youngest son will be graduating from high school. 

Earlier in the day I spoke on the phone with my friend. She seems to be in the same mode. She’s thinking about her year, planning for the next with some exciting things on the agenda. 

Somehow we entered a conversation about dating, charm, and power. We chatted about the moves men make to capture the attention of women. How, some puff up their chests, use their bravado and charm to lure women into relationships. Oh, don’t get me wrong, women do this as well.

The conversation led to how unhealthy relationships that can be controlling, dominant, threatening, forceful, and violent. We agreed that these tactics of intimidation and control are found to be driven by the ego to mask fear,and insecurity and eventually prove themselves as weak and foolish.

I tend to think that society rarely teaches how to have healthy and peaceful relationships, ones of which cooperation, respect, negotiation, compromise, righteous, and ethical principles are at the forefront. These basic principles are the solutions that satisfy both points of view in a relationship and prove to win over any other option. 

This is soft power or I like to think of it as the velvet glove in relationships. This type relating is very powerful. The term soft power is the ability to shape the preferences of another through appeal and attraction minus exerting pressure or force. The terms soft power vs hard power was coined by Joseph Nye, in 1990 when the term was originally used and intended by international affairs analysts to describe a style of power. 

Despite the original intent, there is definitely a place for soft power in personal relationships. Some might think you are weak, vulnerability, or a pushover to use this; it may seem like the least powerful option to resolution. The voice that says that is the ego that has been groomed from birth. The only power involved is the power we all hold within, the power of transformational LOVE. 

Is there a relationship in your life that needs fine-tuning, a change of pace? You have more power than you think.

I am Lisa Jollimois, mother of four who loves supporting women 40 plus who are looking for a more fulfilling life. I work with women who are looking for more out of life, who want to uncover themselves, take the next step, rewrite their story, be more vulnerable, and learn how to live happier, healthier, confident and radiant.

If this interests you email me for your FREE discovery call at lisa@lisajollimois.com or sign up at   https://calendly.com/lisa-365

Bug Hugs,

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Having The Courage To Step Out #12

Having The Courage To Step Out #12

Oct 27, 2019 | Growth Mindset, Personal Development

“It takes courage to grow up and be truly who you are.”  – E E Cummings 

It’s the time of year that we go through our closets to muster up a funky costume or head to the local store to gather up a scary costume for a night out. 

There’s nothing more fun than dressing up with some outrageous look, a personality to match and taking on the town.  

Beyond Halloween, many of us hide behind masks and wear costumes everyday. I wore one years ago, I sported all white, a mask, protective glasses, and purple gloves as a dental hygienist. That was just one costume…

Feeling stuck and unfulfilled in my dental cubical, one day I asked myself, “Lisa, what do you really want to do with your life?: 

I challenged myself to take the steps to go back to college as a young mother to head in a different direction, a new career, a different path…. I discovered that it was not always about doing something different or having a new fulfilling career. It was about being who I wanted to be as a woman and the impact I made on those around me. 

Every day I challenge myself to live in a heart-centered place to come from love, a place of beauty, balance, and inspiration. 

Today, I challenge you to think not so much as what you want to do, but who you want to be in the world…to show up in this world minus the costume.

You may want to be a mother who is available to her children. Or a woman who can cook healthy, delicious dishes, or a woman who can live in love. The possibilities are endless and the choice is yours!

Try on your new way of being and see how it makes you feel. Notice how others are responding to the new you. I would love to hear.

I am Lisa Jollimois, a personal development coach who works with women 40+ who are seeking a change in their life. Women who are at crossroads, feel stuck or not sure about the next step. I help women get to the other side of whatever they are feeling and support them to be Healthier, Happier, Confident, and Radiant.

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Big Hugs,

Watch Your Favorite Things Grow #3

Watch Your Favorite Things Grow #3

Jul 16, 2019 | Creating a Vision, Growth Mindset, Making life look easy, Personal Development

When I work with women, one of the things we do is create a vision. Sometimes when I start working with a woman I get, “ Lisa, I have no idea what I want, how can I create a vision? Where do I begin?

If you are feeling similar, no worries my friend. You see, our brains are geared to protect us, to tell us what is dangerous and what’s not.

When you introduce something new, your brain is triggered to try to keep you in the comfortable.

We all have this “Fight or Flight” inside us.  The problem is that your brain doesn’t know whether you are being chased by a tiger or being challenged to try something new.

It is easy for all of us to get stuck in the comfortable. Notice when this happens, and see these moments as opportunities to grow.

Let’s get clear on what a vision is. A vision is a picture you create in your mind of something you desire in the future.

Dreams and visions are there to help you grow so you can become your best self. Often we ignore these dreams and visions when our brain discourages us for the wrong reasons. 

Your brain might tell you, “I can’t do that,” “It’s too hard,” “That dream is too big for someone like you.”

My friend, these are just thoughts that are keeping you in that safe comfort zone. Ahh, that’s what the brain is supposed to do.

Unless you learn to recognize those thoughts that keep so many of us from bringing those dreams to fruition.

So when your brain tries to trick you and it tells you, “You can’t do that.” Or, “you’re not smart enough.” Remember, those are just thoughts your brain is telling you.

You have the power to choose to ignore those little tricky lies your brain tells you and move forward closer to your wants, desires and vision. 

So, if you’re wondering what you want and how to create a vision. Take a moment to see what surfaces…

If you are finding this difficult, take time to focus on what you don’t want.

I have noticed it is often easier for women to focus on what they don’t want. “I don’t want to be out of shape.” I don’t want to by myself.” I don’t want to feel like there is never enough money.“

The key is, flipping those negative thoughts and that stuck mind chatter to positive thoughts and things that you want. 

My friends, this is important because…”What you focus on grows.”

Instead of being out of shape, what do you want instead? You might want to be fit so you can move easier or so you can slide into your favorite jeans.

Being by yourself?  Maybe you want to find a soulmate or have a fun group of friends where you can play.

Feeling like there is never enough money? Develop a mindset where there is an abundance of money.

Desires like these are perfect mini visions and great starting points where you can create and bring forth to enhance your life. 

I hope you can allow yourself to dream, create a vision for yourself, and start moving forward in the direction where you can have a more full life.

Email me at lisa@lisajollimois.com. I would love to hear more about your vision, desires, and dreams. 

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Big Hugs,