The Beauty Of Grieving #21

Apr 30, 2020 | Personal Development

That is the way I have been showing up these days and it is the way to live under these unusual circumstances.

It is the end of April and we have all seen and felt the unfolding of this pandemic. We’ve felt a loss, have become accustomed to a new way of living and behaving. Some of us have felt tremendous loss and suffering.

My wish for you is that you will give yourself permission to feel, that you will be able to speak the truth about the part of you that is not as easy to talk about…the pain, the suffering, the loss. If you allow a safe space for you to feel your loss, cry, and sit with the pain and suffering. grief will appear. Grief so often will not make itself known until there is a safe space for it to be present. 

According to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross there is a reason for that. There is a 5 stage natural grieving process that one must go through to get to the other side. These 5 stages appear during periods of loss and suffering beginning with denial, then anger, bargaining, grief, and acceptance. Let me explain more how these stages have made themselves present during the COVID-19 threat.

You may recall early on how people were in denial ( stage 1) as they thought COVID-19 was not real and neglected to take the threat seriously. Once reality had set in and collectively we began to see our losses, our change of lifestyle, many of us had developed anger (stage 2).

We have experienced the stage of bargaining (stage 3) where we have agreed to the new limits and accepted the fact that there were orders to stay inside for a month or two. “I can do this.”

But then we are faced with the harsh reality that this virus is here. We see how it has radically changed things, a lot of things. We have to face the reality that this is bigger than we thought. We begin to feel depression and grief (stage 4) because we have to accept what has happened and face it.

Once you travel through those 4 stages, there is the final stage acceptance (stage5). This is where you decide, “Ok, this is here. How can I make the best of it? How can I make the most out of this time?”

Then there is the transformation where you will begin to find meaning in the painful experience.

I myself have experienced a plethora of emotions during this time… fear, anxiety, loss, and general unsettledness that seemed different than what I might usually feel. I have had that pit in my stomach that feels deep. I sat with all those emotions and realized it was grief that was visiting. I imagine I am not the only one who has experienced these emotions. I hope this is a place where you can begin to acknowledge these feelings and feel like this is a safe place for you to sit with them and feel them.

For me, I have felt tremendous suffering in realizing I am not able to see my 93-year-old mother, visit my older children and their kiddos, and see my youngest daughter. There is a separation right now. I am grieving that our frontline workers who do not have all the supplies they need to protect themselves.

Maybe you have lost a job, lost the way you used to work, feel like your workplace is not safe, had to cancel a wedding, graduation, cancel plans, lost income, or have lost a loved one. I don’t want to minimize anything here. Each of us has very different circumstances, thoughts, and feelings. We are all simultaneously grieving. We are also pre grieving. We collectively are pre grieving what we don’t know is coming in the future.

It is so important for us to learn how to grieve and to allow this grief to surface and guide us. This knowledge and understanding will help us get through this and help us show up for ourselves, our families, coworkers, and friends. 

What are you feeling right now?   What is the kind of grief that is coming up for you? Can you name the feeling? 

Sit with these feelings and let them move through you. These too will pass. You will find acceptance and have the opportunity to reflect, reexamine to find meaning in your life.

I am Lisa Jollimois. I am a personal development coach for women who want to transform their lives. If you need more support getting through this current crisis, contact me. Or if you need support naturally maintaining your weight, rewriting your story, exploring new possibilities for an empty nest, or feeling stuck. I can help act as a guide to get your life into action.

If this interests you or if you want to level-up your standard of life despite our current circumstances email me for your FREE discovery call at lisa@lisajollimois.com or sign up at   https://calendly.com/lisa-365

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Big Hugs,